Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Life’s ironies never fail to amuse me

I thought my life was going down hit. So I’m prayed for a change. I actually made a deliberate effort to change. I relocated to another town with a live in boyfriend and stopped partying on the weekends. Figured I would make a clean break from my old life, I even gave up a lot of my friends.  As it turned out life isn’t that much better than how it had been. I get to work late more often than before, spending more and I find myself constantly cleaning up the mess my boyfriend makes   There seems to be more trouble now than before and I cannot help but think that perhaps all the change is not for the better. 

Thursday, March 23, 2017


Steam rises from grates in the sidewalk like smoke signals from Hades.
Cars, a few trucks here and there, rushing by, stopping only in obedience to traffic lights.
Red, yellow, green, colors dominate the bleak morning air. The sun absent on the horizon should have only been minutes away from washing out the gray sky.  Not today.
People are few, bundled in black, gray, dark tones suited to this somber morning pace.
Subconsciously many among them perhaps wish they were somewhere less...arctic. Somewhere
with a little less steel and concrete. Away from the many walls. The many boxes they work hard to live in, only to end up buried in one. This day will see little light. Cast from the reflection of sun, far and distant, like a lighthouse at foggy sea. Later, in the forecast, a blessing of snow has been predicted to give more life to the drab. Promising to fall like confetti from heaven. Not much to be cheerful for. Snow will more likely elicit more groans, complains. And eager anticipation for what's called "A nice day." Longing for the need to feel less of a shadow of their own shadow. These dwellers whose footprints are erased faster than they're made. Life has been withered down to brands. Labels, ones they wear, cars they drive, coffee drank. Here all has a designated place on a shelf smack up against a wall.  One decorated with murals of history making a mockery of itself.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Social Network

"You are not an asshole Mark, you just trying hard to be," a character from the movie Social Network told Mark Zuckerberg at the end of the film. This happens to be my favorite line from the movie. Assholes often times lose out on potentially great friendships, or close intimate relationships due to their detestable personae. I don't know of anyone who likes an asshole, except perhaps another asshole or an asshole's parents. Usually kids are a reflection of the home they were raised in, which explains why a parent or parents would be fond of their asshole child. Another fact; a person usually is an asshole because he was treated badly by his asshole parents, who never showed him or her much love to begin with. I truly believe most assholes are assholes who had at one time or another experienced a great deal of hurt from the hands of another asshole. And true, some people are just naturally miserable and love seeing other people miserable. As the old saying goes, Misery loves company. Of course there are also those who think its cute to be rude, or bitchy; this sort of nasty behavior fuels their self esteem. And again this points to their own inner misery perhaps due to low self esteem or lack of self worth. It's hard for assholes to foster healthy meaningful relationships. I don't know of anyone who wants to be with an asshole. I sure don't. One would think that that would make assholes less inclined to be assholes. Whoever is with them will never be truly happy.
And as the movie demonstrates, usually it is not until an asshole is standing at the edge of a dark abyss alone, or when they find themselves in a corner, isolated in a crowded room that they realized that being an asshole is a terrible disposition.
But here's the ironic thing: the guy who invented the world most popular social networking site, was an asshole, or at least tried to be an asshole. Due to the fact that he was excluded or locked out of a popular social club. Also the girl he loved wasn't really into him. She saw him as a nobody. Anger and bitterness from rejection and exclusion, however, sparked his creativity. As too, drinking and doing drugs, as the movie so well demonstrated, can spark greater creativity. Mark Zuckerberg was drunk when he blogged about his ex-girlfriend while at the same time coming up with the first spark of ideas that spawned Facebook, a billion dollar empire. Also socially awkward teens, or geeks, due to being excluded socially, can conjure billion dollar ideas. That whole thing of having all that time to yourself to do nothing but think and create, if you are not too stewed by the exclusion to do yourself in. History has a long list of billionaires who were once teenagers socially ostracized by their peers. There is something to be said about being ostracized by your high school peers, if you use your isolation wisely. Fact check how many popular high school football players and prom queens actually become successfully rich adults. I'm sure, the percentage is quite low. I bet most transformed into middle aged alcoholics with fourth trimester girt married to equally pudgy pill popping housewives (far removed from their former drop dead beautiful prom queen pictures in their photo albums in the attic).  
Forgive the digression. But here's the thing; assholes can find marital bliss, happiness and true friendship, only if they change their ways. Just look at the movie. Mark Zuckerberg changed at the end of the movie and got the girl he wanted. True he was now a billionaire, so that definitely helped as well, to a certain extent. Still he had to be less of an asshole to attract true love. Otherwise, the love would be for the money and not him per se. Yeah?  So then I ask myself, why would anyone want to be an asshole if it means you are more likely to end up alone and forever miserable?

Saturday, October 30, 2010


Terrorist Attack on London's Westminster Bridge Leaves 5 Dead, Including Attacker and Officer...
LONDON, I feel for you.  Because, I truly love you. If I had a choice I would have moved to London years ago. Fell in love with this city in 1997, during my first visit to see a friend, Hopeton Shaw. Same year Ultra Nate had the biggest pop hit, Free. Little did I know that this would be a turning point in my life. Or, I dare say; the year I came of age, was in this city on my first visit. To put it more precisely, I WAS NEVER THE SAME AGAIN. – London changed me from this small island bwoy to, well…who I am today. Daring, uninhibited, don’t give a shit, pleasure seeker. My taste in lovers also changed since then, became more eclectic – for lack of a better word. In London I met a best friend for life, and an ex-lover at Kudos. A rather fine Spaniard from Alicante, who I followed to Madrid for three months. There in London I also found my biggest crush (A Dane from Denmark) at Heavens Night Club. “Got off my head” at London Pride, I believe it was in Clapham Commons that year, can’t remember, so much of that day is still lost in a purple haze.  Had my first threesome at SUMMER RITES (Well not in the park, after the festivities) and the list goes on. There were so many firsts in London.  It was like falling in love for the first time. Yeah, kinda like that. London was my first love. You know the way how a first love opens you up to so many things. Went to Ibiza for the first time, had my first paella…and the list goes on. Suddenly it was like being born again, my eyes finally opened. I became me. London provided me with so much material for poems, short stories; actually I really started to write after that trip. So London, you hurt, I hurt, cause you will always be  a part of me. ALWAYS WITH YOU LONDON.